10. No Co-Operation
When two people live together but have different ideas on how money should be managed it is a recipe for disaster unless they can sit down together and acknowledge that they have different ideas and needs and they can come up with a compromise that allows each one to have at least some of what they need in order to feel satisfied.
They say that ‘when debt comes in the door, love goes out the window’ and although this may not be exactly true it certainly is true that money pressure causes relationship pressure. Not having a budget plan will cause more friction rather than less.
Usually if one party is not interested in budget planning it is also true that they want to be out shopping, not sitting at home counting the money they did not spend this week.
If the one who does want to be active in planning a budget can prepare the first draft of a budget plan, whether that be in Simply Budgets, Excel or on a scrap of paper, that at least gives a starting point and something for the less interested party to enter into discussion on. That can then be poked and prodded and adjusted until a general consensus is reached.
Here is the important part; the one who loves to be out shopping needs to have a separate ‘shopping account’ that has an allocation of money deposited on a regular basis and that money is theirs to do what they like with, with no comment from the budget conscious party.
The amount deposited into that account has to be budgeted and affordable and agreed on by both parties. The budget conscious person needs to acknowledge that they may have an issue of being ‘too tight’ and that they may not be totally ‘in the right’ just because it is generally accepted that overspending is worse than underspending.
(I have not met that many people who regretted saving too much, but I have met lots who regretted spending too much)
If there is gambling, drinking, smoking or other addiction issues causing financial grief, then it is even more important that protective barriers are placed around the bills money and the spender does not have easy access to that money. That is achieved by using separate bank accounts and Debit Cards that give access only to the spending money. No other cards leave the house.
This might sound impossible to implement but I can’t think of any other way to deal with it.
I’d be interested to get your feedback. Please leave a comment if you have this issue.